New York Times

WASHINGTON – In a game that lived up to its location, the Washington Swamp and the New York Times fought to a 3-3 gridlock on Saturday night. The teams traded goals all evening, with neither able to pull away. Sylvia Plath played hero for the Swamp, scoring the game-tying goal. Plath also added an assist for a two-point night. Washington opened the scoring on a goal from Linus Torvalds, with assists from Julian Assange and Chuck Palahniuk. ...

BOSTON – Bobby Orr was an unstoppable force Saturday night, recording a hat trick and an assist to lead the Boston Tea Party to a 5-2 victory over the New York Times. Orr’s four-point performance dominated the game. He opened the scoring with an unassisted goal, struck again with help from Lawrence Lessig and Ray Bourque, and completed the hat trick on a setup from Lessig. Orr wasn’t just scoring, he also assisted on Robert Johnson’s goal. Tom Brady rounded out the scoring for the victorious Tea Party. ...