CHICAGO - The ice at the arena was still steaming when the final horn blasted, signaling the end of a contest that felt less like a hockey game and more like a clash of cultural titans. In a game defined by a blistering start and a heart-stopping finish, the Seattle Musicians edged out Chicago Style 3–2, riding the hot hand of Kurt Cobain and the brick-wall goaltending of Patrick Roy. ...
PITTSBURGH – The Pittsburgh Pisces unleashed a dominant offensive attack, defeating the Portland Brewers 6-2 on Monday night. The Pisces’ scoring was deep and balanced, with four players recording multi-point nights. Joe Montana and Jayna Hefford each scored two goals, while Sidney Crosby (1G, 2A) and Roberto Clemente (3A) acted as playmakers, each finishing with three points. Mario Lemieux (1G, 1A) also had a two-point night for Pittsburgh. The Pisces started early, with Lemieux scoring the opening goal off a pass from Clemente. Montana followed, assisted by Greta Thunberg and Lemieux. ...
LOS ANGELES – The Los Angeles Sun showcased a dominant, four-goal performance to defeat the visiting Boston Tea Party 4-1 on Saturday. Fyodor Dostoevsky and Brian Jones each registered a goal and an assist to lead the Sun’s balanced offensive effort. Dostoevsky opened the scoring for Los Angeles, taking assists from Steph Curry and Jaromir Jagr. Boston’s Bobby Orr provided the sole response for the Tea Party, capitalizing on a setup from William Gibson to tie the game. ...
DALLAS – Ronnie Spector recorded a hat trick, powering the Dallas Dharma to a narrow 4-3 victory over the Philadelphia Dieties on Saturday. Goaltender Manon Rhéaume was a critical factor for Dallas, turning aside 30 shots as the Dharma were outshot by the Dieties 33-28. Timothy Leary opened the scoring for Dallas, assisted by Phife Dawg. Philadelphia’s Danielle Goyette answered with her first of the night, a goal set up by Jenny Potter, to tie the game. ...
WASHINGTON – In a game that lived up to its location, the Washington Swamp and the New York Times fought to a 3-3 gridlock on Saturday night. The teams traded goals all evening, with neither able to pull away. Sylvia Plath played hero for the Swamp, scoring the game-tying goal. Plath also added an assist for a two-point night. Washington opened the scoring on a goal from Linus Torvalds, with assists from Julian Assange and Chuck Palahniuk. ...
MIAMI – Geraldine Heaney recorded a hat trick and an assist for a four-point game, leading the Miami Saints to a 5-3 victory over the Montreal Expose on Thursday. Philo Farnsworth also had a three-point night for Miami, contributing one goal and two assists. Goaltender Terry Sawchuk was sharp for the Saints, making 35 saves and earning the win. Miami opened up a 2-0 lead with goals from Farnsworth and Heaney’s first of the night. Montreal’s Edward Snowden, assisted by Prodigy, cut the lead in half. ...
BOSTON – Bobby Orr was an unstoppable force Saturday night, recording a hat trick and an assist to lead the Boston Tea Party to a 5-2 victory over the New York Times. Orr’s four-point performance dominated the game. He opened the scoring with an unassisted goal, struck again with help from Lawrence Lessig and Ray Bourque, and completed the hat trick on a setup from Lessig. Orr wasn’t just scoring, he also assisted on Robert Johnson’s goal. Tom Brady rounded out the scoring for the victorious Tea Party. ...