WASHINGTON– The Washington Swamp secured a solid 3-1 victory over the Pittsburgh Pisces on Wednesday, led by a two-point performance from Sylvia Plath.
The Swamp jumped out to an early lead when Plath found the back of the net, thanks to an assist from Chuck Palahniuk. Alexander Ovechkin extended the lead to 2-0, capitalizing on a setup from Keith Hernandez and Chuck Hull.
Pittsburgh showed signs of life, cutting the deficit in half when Steve Ballmer scored, with assists credited to Joe Montana and William S. Burroughs. The goal energized the Pisces, but the Swamp’s defense held firm.
Washington put the game away for good when George Orwell scored the insurance goal, restoring the two-goal lead. Plath picked up her second point of the night with the primary assist, and Linus Torvalds also registered a helper on the play.
The Swamp out-shot the Pisces, though both teams saw significant offensive pressure. Washington’s Julian Assange led all players with seven shots on goal, while Richard Branson paced the Pisces with six shots in the losing effort.
Game Report: Washington Swamp vs. Pittsburgh Pisces
Final Score
Washington Swamp: 3
Pittsburgh Pisces: 1
Scoring Summary
- Washington Swamp Goal: Sylvia Plath (Chuck Palahniuk)
- Washington Swamp Goal: Alexander Ovechkin (Keith Hernandez, Chuck Hull)
- Pittsburgh Pisces Goal: Steve Ballmer (Joe Montana, William S. Burroughs)
- Washington Swamp Goal: George Orwell (Sylvia Plath, Linus Torvalds)
Washington Swamp Stats
| Player | G | A | P | SOG |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Sylvia Plath | 1 | 1 | 2 | 4 |
| Alexander Ovechkin | 1 | 0 | 1 | 6 |
| George Orwell | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2 |
| Chuck Palahniuk | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 |
| Chuck Hull | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 |
| Linus Torvalds | 0 | 1 | 1 | 4 |
| Keith Hernandez | 0 | 1 | 1 | 3 |
| Nicklas Lidstrom | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 |
| Cassie Campbell | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 |
| Aaron Swartz | 0 | 0 | 0 | 6 |
| Julian Assange | 0 | 0 | 0 | 7 |
Pittsburgh Pisces Stats
| Player | G | A | P | SOG |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Steve Ballmer | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2 |
| William S. Burroughs | 0 | 1 | 1 | 3 |
| Joe Montana | 0 | 1 | 1 | 4 |
| Mario Lemieux | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 |
| Sidney Crosby | 0 | 0 | 0 | 5 |
| Jayna Hefford | 0 | 0 | 0 | 4 |
| Eazy-E | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 |
| Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 |
| Kurt Vonnegut | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| Jeff Buckley | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| Richard Branson | 0 | 0 | 0 | 6 |
| Greta Thunberg | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 |
| Roberto Clemente | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 |